Expectations

Here's the thing; i like to help people out. i'm a pretty generous person.
may it be giving someone a bit of my food or some change if i'm able to spare some.

usually i just help with my abilities; in the tech area that is.

if a family member gains knowledge of the fact that you're able to do something they cant or that they can do but you can do it better; 100% for sure they'll ask you to do it.
its the same thing with friends.

the thing is; i have an inability to say no.

so when this person from our church asked me if i could record her wedding for her, for $150, i naturally said yes.
but i didnt think about my transportation and what camera i'm gonna use.
i asked my friend Dave (who worked in the church and where i help out) if i could borrow the Sony HDV camera. he said yes.

then upon informing dad what i was asked to do - he cracked it.

"Who's camera are you gonna use"
"the church's? who asked to use it?"
"you? what the hell were you thinking?"
"what if you lost it?"
(yeah like i'd lose a HUGE SILVER CASE with a $1000+ camera in it and a 2 Meter long Tripod)
"do you know how much it cost?"
"what about insurance issues?"

and it went on.

to be honest; he was right on some points. but then he got personal.

"you always do stuff for your friends, they ask you something, boom you're there."
"but whenever i ask you to do something, you never do it."
"that time i asked you to edit that video in Kyabram (some farm place), where is it?"
"what about that slideshow that Ai-Hoon asked you to do, nothing - I had to do it!"

well i'm sorry, but maybe if i didnt have so many assignments and the fact that i didnt want to fail and waste $1000 of tuition fees just help out your friend's wedding, i would've been able to do it. but i did, and you had to do it.
and YOU had the nerve to think that i didnt want to do it; telling me that "you covered for me" what a crock.
You could've done it yourself and YOU HAVE. you've done so many bloody slideshows on our crap arse computer and it came out great. then why did you want me to do it?
COS YOU DIDNT WANT TO DO IT.

gah it's so frustrating. knowing you might and even will disappoint so many people just to please a couple.
but who do you choose? other people or your family?

if you choose other people; your family thinks you're a selfish Git and ends up hating you. thus repelling them from asking you to do stuff for them and not trust you completely.

if you choose your family; the other people then think you dont care about them and what's important to them - thus repelling them from asking you any favors/jobs.

this sucks. if i didnt have so many assignments; i wouldve been able to do these things easy. but no one's going to hire someone with out any qualifications - and i'm no Genius Artist.