Late at Night

When everyone's asleep...

i crave companionship the most.

sometimes, i just like the fact that someone's there.
it's probably that i just got so used to living in the same room as someone, now that i have my own room, it feels kind of empty.

to be honest - it's only around this time that i want a friend or Garbo to just be there...
mostly to talk, or in garbo's case - look at her while she studies or does anything (even tweeze her hairs).

even though i know right now, it's in my best interest to go to sleep - seeing as it's almost 2am and i'm going to church in the morning - i feel like just spending some time with someone.

i hate it when i know i've absolutely exhausted my options on the internet - like i've checked facebook like a gajillion times, the same with twitter and youtube and dailybooth - cos there's nothing else to do.

to be honest, normally i would watch a movie or a tv show that i've downloaded.
but i'm saving all the movies until i go to china - so me and garbs can do the whole "night in" kinda thing (which we failed to do the first time cos we were always tired after running around the city being all touristy).

lately, i've just gotten really clingy to garbo all of a sudden.
even i've noticed it (she's prob not just saying anything).

i dunno, i just feel the need to be with her all the time.
i think it's because i feel insecure with all those guys Mackin' on her in China

that i'm afraid that i'll lose her.

i'd HATE for that to happen - but knowing garbo, i know it wont.
but for some reason it's not enough. I NEED to be with her.

oh and you know what i've also noticed?

i dont have a clique at church.
like i dont have a Certain group that i belong in.
well, that's what i feel like.

the thing is, i'm friends with almost everyone. i try to be nice to the new guys, if i havnt spoken to one guy at youth i try to get to know them more. yknow, christian brotherhood kinda stuff.

but i dont have the kind of group thing that i have at Uni, or with my mates (we call ourselves "The Brotherhood - kinda lame but whatever). i'm usually wandering about after church looking for someone to say hi to, or have a chat. but everyone seems to have their own niche.

do i need to be more exclusive? i'm still in the HighSchool Youth because i cant adjust to the young adults one... and also i have leader responsibilities (which i probably took on so i can stay for longer), and also my Uni had got me going to classes on a wednesday evening, which was when the Young Adults had their youth night thing.


ahhh it's too late and i'm just going on about crap.
i need to sleep.